What NOT to get for your girlfriend on Valentine's Day

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Stuffed animals that are given as gifts for Valentine's Day tend to end up shoved into a closet to be forgotten. 

Valentine’s Day is upon us, and the age old question of what to buy your girlfriend has come up again. Here are, arguably, the worst and most cliché gifts to waste money on this coming holiday.

A bouquet of red roses

For the love of all things holy, please stop assuming every woman on the planet loves red roses as a default. Personally, I’m a big fan of tulips. There are also a lot of women with a green thumb for indoor potted plants. Succulents, cacti and other small potted plants make a wonderful gift the two of you can watch grow! Beware: not all women have a green thumb, e.g. my mom.

Stuffed animals

Giving your adult girlfriend a stuffed animal as a gift, for any holiday, without substantial meaning or humor behind it is a bad idea. It’s probably going to end up in the “closet of random things” (every house has one) and forgotten until she moves out of said house and it meets its final destination: Goodwill. Best case scenario is her dog, cat or drunk roommate destroys it, and she gets to pretend to be sad as she throws it in the dumpster.

Cheap lotion gift sets

I know what you’re thinking: “Wow! This set is so cool, it has like three things, and it’s only $4.99 at Walmart, perfect!”

My response is to drop it and walk away. The lotion probably smells like glue and feels like liquid plastic. Instead, take a look through her bathroom and find a lotion she already uses and buy her a bigger version of it. You know she’ll like the scent, and the gift won’t go to waste. *chef kiss*

Anything with your name on it

If you’re going to get your girlfriend a gift such as jewelry, do not put your name on it. Yes, I’ve seen “High School Musical” and will admit that my young teenage self swooned when Gabriela got a “Troy” necklace. However, what happens *if* (and probably when) you break up? Is she supposed to return it or what? Alternatively, get her a gift with her name or initials on it.

Gifts purchased from CVS on Feb. 13

If you find yourself in the local CVS at 9 p.m. on this day, turn around and walk out of the store. You’re better off going to Sonic, Fuzzy’s or Aspen and picking your girl up a $20 gift card.

Also, if you’re only in CVS at the last minute buying a gift for your significant other because you feel obligated to not show up empty-handed the next day, that is probably a sign of greater problems in your relationship. Just some food for thought.

The ultimate moral of the story for Valentine’s Day gifts is that effort and thought beat out clichés almost every time. Don’t get so caught up in rampant consumerism and “romantic” expectations that you lose track of the real meaning of giving gifts to the people you love most.

entertainment.ed@ocolly.com