Saying goodbye to the poet and professor, Ai

It would be easy for me to write about the poet Ai's life and career, recycling famous quotes, listing publications and awards, and giving the usual background information.

But, to me, that would be the wrong approach.

Instead, I will write to the poet Ai the things I wish I had said if I had the chance to say goodbye to this enigmatic poet and professor before her death in the early hours of March 20, 2010.

Dear Ai,

I want to thank you for seeing something in me that I have only recently begun to see in myself. When I was a faceless packet of poetry with an application, you thought I was worth admitting into the doctoral program to work with you and Lisa Lewis in order to refine and sharpen the talent you saw there.

The first time I met you, you said that you knew who I was, that you picked me and you liked my work. Coming from you, that is one of the greatest compliments I have ever been given.

I have been a fan of your work since I was introduced to it when I was 19. My husband and I applied to the creative writing program here because I wanted to have the chance to work with you and to learn better how to use your form — the monologue.

Getting to know you through your stories and your criticism of my work made me feel understood in a way I have never felt understood before. You often saw where I was trying to go in my work and either helped me get there or recommended that I rethink the direction to build a better poem.

I wish the rest of the world knew how stubborn, funny and intelligent you are. That they knew about your voracious appetite for knowledge, love of shopping and attachment to your cats.

You are a fierce woman; someone I thought would be too stubborn, strong and tough to die.

You regaled your students with both amusing and sad stories of your career as a poet, the struggles you faced as well as the strange situations you found yourself in as you tried to navigate the extremely rough waters of a career in poetry in a country that has forgotten the importance of our art form.

You taught me to be strong.

This last summer you told me that I have the grit it takes. You may be the only person that I would believe that from.

I will miss you. The Oklahoma State University community, and the world at large, has lost a great poet and an amazing person. I'm sure that every student you have mentored feels both the gratitude for what you have given and the great loss at your passing.

With love and great respect,

Karen

For those of you unfamiliar with The Poet Ai, I strongly recommend reading her poetry. A new book of poems, No Surrender, is forthcoming this fall. Other titles are available at the university bookstore.

Karen Sisk is an English doctoral student. She received her B.A. and M.A. in English from Wright State University