As a foreigner in a new country with a different language and culture, one often makes mistakes in grammar and mannerisms. Before coming to France, in an attempt to avoid this problem, I studied the language and read about the culture, but there is certain information French class and travel books tend to leave out.
On a chilly day after class in Dijon, I left French class feeling satisfied about my performance on the exam. After the stressful buildup to the test, I felt quite relieved and had an urge to celebrate.
Leaving the building, I ran into some of my fellow classmates and stopped to chat. As we discussed the test, my friend suggested we should all go out that evening for “apero” —the French term for “pre-drinks” and, in Dijon, it is usually a white wine with crème de cassis-a Burgundy special.
Feeling that was just the remedy for my pre-exam stress, I responded, “Je suis excite,” which literally translated into English means “I am excited.”
I saw a few of them exchange glances and smile, but thought nothing of it.
Later that evening, I met for a rendez-vous (meeting) with my classmates at a nearby pub “Les Coleurs.”
As I entered, I spotted Karim, a French boy from school, and greeted him with a customary bisou and a habitual American greeting, a hug. I noticed that he gave me a surprised look, accompanied by a big smile. This was a strange reaction, but I did not think anything of it as I bid farewell to go greet my classmates.
I sat beside my friend, Tasha, a Canadian in her second year at Burgundy, who decided she would teach me a few things of which I was obviously not aware.
“So I don’t know if you know this, but don’t worry I did the same thing when I came here,” she began.
“What do you mean?” I asked, a bit perplexed.
“So, I didn’t want to tell you in front of everyone, but ‘je suis excite’ means that you are excited….sexually,” she managed to blurt out, pausing for my reaction.
Mortified as I realized I had been saying this phrase quite often, my cheeks began to burn and I could feel them turn bright red.
“And also,” she continued.
“Oh great, there is more,” I thought to myself.
“Did you see the look Karim gave you when you hugged him accompanied by an eyebrow raise and a huge smile?”
“Unfortunately, I caught that,” I admitted.
“Yeah, so in France, it is totally backwards from America. Kissing is not a big deal, but a hug is something you do when you are in a relationship with someone. So hug all you want, but they might take it like you want them,” she explained.
“So you are telling me I told everyone I was sexually excited and now Karim thinks I want him?”
“Basically, yeah,” she said, patting my back. “But don’t worry about it. Just play the dumb foreigner card, and they will forget about it.”
Thankful for the information she had just given but feeling utterly embarrassed, I decided to take her advice and explain myself to my classmates and Karim.
After sharing a long laugh and a few drinks, things turned out fine, and I was no longer looked at as an “American nympho.”
French Phrase of the week: Toujours bisous, jamais embrasses.
English translation: Always kiss, never hug.
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